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” This stage may last for 3 or 4 months depending on the individuals and their maturity, experience and self-understanding.
Towards the end of this stage, and hopefully at other times throughout it, it is not unusual for questions of “is this the right person for me” to emerge.
The initial meeting may take place over the internet, through friends, in a church or social group, at a party or bar or any one of a myriad of many different places.
Different arenas for meeting allow for different opportunities to get to know each other and see if there is enough curiosity or interest to take it to the next level which would involve arranging a second or third meeting.
At this stage, the attraction may not be too “deep” and each half of a couple is generally putting his or her best foot forward.
Differences are not noticed or are dismissed with thoughts like “not a big deal” or “she will change”.
Part of it, too, is that there’s more of an understanding (or at least there’s supposed to be) that hiring and applying for jobs is, well, business not personal.
As a result, everyone involved is expected to handle rejection reasonably professionally.
This is when the big question emerges even more strongly: “Where are we headed?
“ Women have a tendency to ask this question before men, even though both may be wondering about the answer to this question.
It feels different, because it feels more like I’m rejecting a person, well, personally, rather than saying they aren’t the right fit or we had more qualified applicants. I do indeed think the etiquette for rejection in different in these two situations: It’s much more acceptable not to reply to messages from would-be suitors on online dating sites than it is for employers not to reply to job applicants.